Come Undone
by Bella Taggart
Summary: When Kara starts losing control of her powers after an alien attack, she must protect those she cares most about from herself. Cat/Kara Kara/Cat f/f
1. Chapter 1

Notes:

The story takes place a short time after Astra's death. It veers off canon after that, just to warn you.

I would like to thank my amazing beta sporkmetender for all her help. Her incredibly insightful feedback and attention to detail has made this a much better story.

That's it folks, hope you enjoy!

 **Come Undone**

 **1/2**

Strictly professional. That's what they were now.

"Yes Ms. Grant, no Ms. Grant, right away Ms. Grant…" It seemed her whole life was reduced to platitudes. Forget a "thank you"; eye contact was too much to ask for when it came to Cat Grant.

Cat barked out orders, at Siobhan mostly. And if Kara was lucky, she'd intercept some mundane task along the way—something, anything, to get back in Cat's good graces.

It was a futile effort, of course. Kara was pretty sure she could stand in front of Cat flailing her arms and yelling profanities and Cat would still find a way to ignore her.

It was surprising, really, that after countless battles with all sorts of creatures, the thing that hurt her the most should end up being something as simple as dismissal.

"Kara!"

"Yes…what?" She sat up, startled by Winn's proximity.

"Did you hear what I just said?"

"Of course I did." She ran a hand through her hair. "You were saying how you'd…uhm…"

"Please tell me you boiled that for some tea."

She followed Winn's gaze to her desk where a steaming glass of water sat, hot bubbles jumping on its surface.

"Oh, I didn't mean to…" She grabbed the glass, bringing it close to her lips. With a quick look around she blew into it, cooling it significantly before putting it back down.

"I was afraid you were going to say that."

"I'm fine. Really, I feel…perfectly fine." She rubbed her eyes, thankful that no one seemed to be paying her any attention.

"I get that, I do, but this is the third time this week, Kara." Winn leaned closer, whispering, "You've been losing control of your powers and you need to get it checked out."

She picked up her folders and started towards the photocopy room.

"I will. If it happens again, I will. I just think I'm a little tired, that's all."

Winn followed, walking close. "That's what you said when you broke my laptop."

"I apologized for that."

"That's not the point. You need to let the DEO help you."

He was right, of course. Kara knew that the logical thing to do was to go to the DEO and get a full body check-up. She hadn't been feeling quite like herself since her fight with that alien creature the week before. And it wasn't just her powers; her mood was shooting up and down like a roller-coaster. Kara couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so out of sorts. And yet the thought of seeing J'onn filled her with such disgust that she could literally feel her eyes burn with her powers. She didn't trust herself to be near him. Not when there was a very real chance that she might lose control and end up hurting him, or worse yet, hurting Alex or any of the other agents in the building. She just needed to take some time away from the place, calm down. Deal with this like a human. People got sick all the time, and they didn't go to the doctor at the first sign of a cold. Sometimes things passed on their own and really, if things got worse, she could always go to the DEO as a last resort.

"Listen, I know things have been difficult lately," Winn said, as though sensing her thoughts, "with Astra gone and Ms. Grant giving you the—"

She held up her hand, cutting him off. "There is a fire. I need to go, emergency for Supergirl."

"Oh, yeah, go—of course."

"Sorry, we'll continue this later—promise."

She ran, ripping her clothes off and feeling dread fill her with each step. Not only were her powers going all wonky on her, but she was also lying to her best friend.

The rain pattered soothingly against the window, notes of Chopin's Nocturne Number 1 Opus 9 played gently in the background. Cat took a sip of her wine and hummed contently. She typed and typed, enjoying the feeling of the keys giving way beneath her fingertips, words flowing from her like the music.

She was working late. Too late, really, and yet once she'd started writing she hadn't been able to stop. It happened sometimes, the need to put words to paper. It surprised her that the need still struck her. Most of her days were spent editing other people's work. And yet this, what she was doing now, was the reason she had become a reporter in the first place. Getting lost in a story so thoroughly that time passed her by.

A sudden bang from the far corner of the office paused her fingers. She was supposed to be alone in the office, and yet that had sounded an awful lot like an opening door. She turned off the music.

"Hello?"

When no response came, she purposefully relaxed her stance and considered going back to her writing, but found the mood broken. She glanced at the clock—it was 2 am.

Perhaps it was time to go home after all. With reluctant hands, she closed down her laptop.

The sound of breaking glass along with a muffled cry had her reaching inside her bag for her mini taser and shouting "Who's there?"

Silence.

"I will call security if you don't show yourself right now!"

She reached for the phone. "I gave you a chance,"

"It's me."

Cat took a few cautious steps forward. "Kiera?"

And sure enough, it was her frustrating assistant who appeared outside her office, her wet hair sticking to her face.

"What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I…"

"Never mind, I don't care. Next time just turn on some lights, will you? No need to sneak around just because you don't want to get caught by the boss."

"No, I…"

"Save it." Cat grabbed her bag. It was indeed time to go home.

Ever since the incident with Adam, Cat couldn't bring herself to be in the same room as Kara. The disappointment she felt about her son leaving had somehow gotten mixed up with her frustrations with Kara. She was obviously taking out her displeasure out on Kara unfairly. But knowing that to be true and doing something about it were two separate things.

So she was leaving rooms that Kara entered and avoiding eye contact just to get through her days without the constant reminder of her failure. More than anything, she felt guilty about pushing Kara towards Adam in the first place. The three of them should never have been in that position, where her son was dating her assistant whom she had frustrations about. Frustrations reminiscent of those she felt in her college days right before she'd started dating Sarah, the school fencing champion.

Cat wasn't stupid. She knew she was attracted to her 24 year old doe eyed assistant, and if the way she often caught Kara looking at her was any indication, she wasn't necessarily alone in the feeling. Perhaps it was even more than a simple attraction—an impossible situation she'd tried to run away from by pushing Kara and Adam together. What a mistake that had been.

And now there was a wall. One she had created, to be sure, but a wall all the same. And backtracking had never been one of Cat's strong suits. She'd said some hurtful things to Kara and not only did she not know how to take them back, she could barely co-exist in the same building with her.

So she was certainly not going stay here, at this hour of the night, without a single soul to come between them.

She walked briskly, passing by Kara without a glance her way. After just a few steps, though, she noticed the footprints she was leaving behind. "What…?" The dark substance looked an awful lot like blood.

She spun around, her stomach clenching. Kara was standing there with a dazed look in her eyes, copious amounts of blood dripping down her right hand.

"Jesus, did you cut yourself?"

Kara looked at her with a confused expression, no trace of her usually bubbly self.

Cat rushed to her side, pulling out her scarf and grabbing hold of her hand. "Here, hold this."

She wrapped the scarf around Kara's fingers as tightly as she could, growing more concerned with each moment Kara failed to respond.

"What happened?"

Kara just looked at her, puzzled. Something was definitely wrong.

"Kara, tell me what happened."

Kara blinked, "I..."

"Did you hit your head? Are you on something?"

"What?"

"Your eyes aren't focusing. Do I need to call an ambulance?"

"No, no doctors."

"Okay, then tell me what happened here."

"The vase…it broke in my hand but then I bled."

"I can see that." Perhaps the blood loss was affecting Kara in a strange way. "Is that all?"

"I need to call Alex."

"Who?"

"My sister."

The slow slur of her words and the grey tinge to Kara's skin had Cat reaching for her arm. "Okay, let's have a seat first."

"Cat…"

Hearing her name only served to worry Cat more. "What is it?"

Kara's lips were trembling, her eyes filling with tears. "I don't…"

"You're okay, you hear me? Stop panicking right now."

"I don't feel so…"

It was the last thing she said before she keeled over in a faint. All Cat could do was catch her.

When Kara came to, she found herself lying on Cat's couch. There was a wet towel on her forehead and her feet were raised up. Cat was pacing back and forth, barking into the phone, "…here in 5 minutes or I'm calling 911."

The couch creaked beneath her as she tried to raise herself up.

"Lie back down, Kiera." Cat marched over. "I'm not carrying you if you faint again."

Though her words were harsh, Kara could see the relief in her boss's eyes.

She fell back, her head spinning with the sudden movement. "Sorry."

"Yes, well, don't do it again."

She wouldn't if she could help it. Though on second thought, fainting might not be such a bad idea. It would certainly relieve the pain in her head, pounding against her skull to the beat of her pulse. She closed her eyes for just a moment, trying to shield against the blinding brightness of the room.

"Kiera?"

"I'm awake."

The palm on her forehead had Kara's eyes blinking open.

Cat sighed. "You're burning up."

"Alex?"

"She's on her way, though I don't know what help she can offer you that a hospital can't. You need to get your hand stitched up, and who knows what else is wrong with you."

"I'm fine, just a headache—a migraine, I think. My hand is fine. It doesn't even hurt anymore."

"Yes, I'm sure." The couch gave way under Cat's weight. "It's probably healed itself, as these things do."

Ironically, that was probably the case actually; only Cat didn't need to know that.

"You're right, I'll get it looked at first thing."

"First thing will be too late." Cat unzipped the first-aid bag she kept in her office for Carter, pulling out a fresh bandage. "Let me see," she said, reaching for her arm.

Kara pulled back. "No, it's fine really, Ms. Grant."

"Don't be silly, Kiera, that scarf is soaked through with blood. We need to put on a clean bandage. I have the disinfectant spray as well. Do you want it to get infected?"

"No, I…"

"Really Kiera, Carter is braver than you," she said, grabbing hold of Kara's arm.

"I'm sure he is."

"If he were here, he'd tell you that there's nothing to be afraid of. I've bandaged my fair share of cuts in my day, you know? I'm practically a doctor. I promise I'll be gentle, okay?"

Kara knew she was staring, but she couldn't help it. It had been so long since Cat had shown her any interest at all, let alone tried to take care of her in this semi-playful way.

"What?" Cat asked, without her usual bite.

"This is the longest you've spoken to me in weeks." Kara hadn't meant to say it, only she didn't feel like she had much control of anything at the moment, words included.

Cat's eyes widened in surprise. She swallowed and straightened as though suddenly realizing whose hand she was holding.

"Don't be silly, I speak to you all the time," Cat said, letting go of Kara's hand. "If you prefer to wait for your sister, we might as well do that. She'll be here any minute now."

"That's probably a good idea," Kara said, feeling a strange sense of disappointment.

Cat looked at her for a long moment, as though she was going to say something, but then stood up and started pacing again. "So, what does your sister do anyway? A paramedic, I'm assuming?"

"Something like that," Kara said. What was one more lie at this point really? And technically Alex did have first aid training.

"Well, I think it's silly to be avoiding hospitals just because you have a paramedic in the family. You do have insurance, Kiera—might as well make use of it. It's not like you're—"

Kara could see that Cat was still talking, and yet with each passing moment she was losing the ability to follow what she was saying. There was something wrong with her ears. It felt like the pounding of her heart was getting louder and louder, echoing throughout her body. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to snap out of it. She really was sweating a lot—her hand came away wet. Her sweat was glistening on her palm, like tiny little crystals. And then suddenly all she could see were those crystals on her palm, flashing under the lights, blinding her with their brightness. Disoriented and confused, she was abruptly shaken out of her vision to find Cat hovering over her, literally shaking her shoulder and mouthing something with worried eyes.

Kara shook her head, trying to communicate her helplessness. She tried telling Cat that she couldn't hear her, and yet she couldn't hear herself to be sure it worked.

Cat's panic was obvious on her face, and yet just as soon as it appeared, it disappeared to be replaced with confident reassurance. She held up her hand, indicating for Kara to wait, and rushed to her desk. She came back with a pen and a notepad, already scrawling away.

She held up the notepad.

"You're going to be fine. Don't be scared," it read.

Kara nodded, her lips trembling.

"You can't hear me?" Cat scribbled.

Kara shook her head in confirmation.

Cat held up the notepad again. "Are you in pain?"

Kara pointed at her head in response, even as she felt her eyes tear up with emotion.

Cat took hold of her good arm, squeezing in reassurance. She was looking at Kara so softly, so meaningfully that Kara felt like her chest was breaking open. This was a look that was solely reserved for Carter—until now that is. She was kinder and warmer and more caring than she had ever been before as she reached over and cupped Kara's cheek, wiping away her tears with her thumb. Kara couldn't help but lean into her touch, close her eyes, and savor the moment despite the terrible circumstance it was coming in.

"Oh, Kara."

Kara's eyes snapped open. She could hear her.

"You said my name," she said, her voice breaking with relief.

Cat chuckled, her own eyes moist. "You heard that?"

Kara nodded.

"What's going on, Kara?" Cat said gently.

Kara swallowed back her tears, wanting so much to tell her. "I…I think I might be sick."

"I think you might be right." Cat gave her a sad smile. "Tell me."

She looked at her so encouragingly that Kara just found herself talking.

"My senses are acting up—my sight, my hearing and stuff. It's going out and coming back…I can't seem to control…and this headache is just…" She was just in so much pain and she was tired. So tired.

"How long?"

"About a week," she said, "but it wasn't this bad before."

Cat's face fell with each word out of Kara's mouth.

"Okay," she said, nodding slowly and deliberately, like an investigator collecting the facts about a disaster. "Did you—" Cat cleared her throat. "Have you been to a neurologist?"

"No, no, it's not…" a brain tumor, Kara thought, sitting up despite the pounding in her head. She was scaring Cat more than helping her with her explanations. "It's nothing like that."

"How do you know?" Cat asked.

Kara could hear the timid hope in her voice. "I just do."

"That's great, Kara," Cat said, now annoyed, "that's a very mature way of dealing with something like this." She took a calming breath, "You have to make an appointment. I'll call Dr. Wishickowski right now; he'll squeeze us in first thing in the morning."

" , please don't."

"He is the best in the field, Kara, you remember—he was Daniel's doctor."

Daniel-Cat's brother, who had died from a brain tumor. Kara didn't think she could feel worse and yet the guilt of scaring Cat like this... And she must be scared, because Kara had never heard Cat bring up her brother. Not since his funeral in Kara's first year at CatCo. Cat had been unrecognizable when she'd gotten the news—the one time in Kara's life she'd broken down in the office. She'd taken a week off after that, something she hadn't even done when Carter was born—or so Kara was told. When she came back the following week, things were back to normal, the only difference being that there was now a silver frame with his picture on Cat's desk. To the outside world, she was the perfect businesswoman with no weaknesses whatsoever. Kara knew better.

"Please, Ms. Grant, it's not a tumor."

"Kara, sweet girl, listen to me. It probably isn't, you're probably right, but if there is something—anything—the most important thing is early diagnosis."

"Cat, please. It's not a tumor, I know it for a fact."

Something in her voice must have been convincing, because when Cat looked up, sitting so close to Kara, close enough that a stray wind could have blown them together into a kiss, there was doubt on her face. "How?"

Kara had never wanted to tell someone her secret as much as she did right now. And what if she did tell Cat? What was the worst that could happen? Maybe Cat would be upset with her for lying, but she might eventually forgive her. She was Supergirl's biggest supporter, after all. And if she got fired, she got fired. At least Cat would stop looking at her with such worry, and sadness.

That she could inspire such an emotional reaction from Cat was proof that she cared about Kara. Maybe even more than cared. There had been those moments before Adam, when it felt like things between her and Cat were moving towards something—moments that felt heavier and more meaningful than just a regular mentor/mentee relationship, when she'd catch Cat looking at her with what might have been longing. At least that's what Kara liked to think on her most hopeful days. If there was a chance, any chance that Cat might become more to her one day, she'd have to be honest with her anyway. Clark had told Lois, so she could surely tell Cat.

But then, what if Cat became a target because of her?

She took an involuntary breath. The idea of losing Cat was unbearable. Physically painful to think about. Non could go after her and she'd be helpless to do anything about it. Damn it, she could barely sit up straight; she was in no state to protect anyone, let alone someone she cared about. And Carter, she'd not only be putting Cat in danger but Carter as well. She couldn't risk them like this, just because she wanted more than anything to look into Cat's eyes and tell her the truth. It was selfish, it was wrong. It was unacceptable. In fact, she was putting her in danger just by being in the same room with her right now. She wasn't safe to be around. Suddenly a horrible thought came into her mind—what if her heat vision came on and she couldn't control it? What if she hurt Cat?

She flinched back into the couch as though burned.

"Ms. Grant, you need to get away from me!"

"What?" Cat said, starting back in surprise.

"I can't explain it. Please just leave—I'm not safe to be around."

She looked around, feeling like a caged animal, trying to think, think, THINK.

"Kara, you're not making any sense. I can't leave you like this."

"Please, please, Ms. Grant, please go." She was crying earnestly now, begging.

"Kara, talk to me," Cat said, Kara's words having the opposite effect on her. She leaned forward, "I don't understand."

"Cat, I don't want to hurt you!" Kara was shaking with fear. "Can you just… if I mean anything to you, anything at all, you'll leave me here."

"No."

"Fine, then I'll leave." Kara pulled herself up, head spinning, feet getting tangled in the carpet as she tried to make her way out.

"Kara, stop! You can barely stand up. You're going to hurt yourself." She reached for her. "Kara—"

Kara jumped back in reflex. "No, don't come any closer!"

Cat gasped in horror, falling back against the couch.

Only the look in Cat's eyes let Kara know that she had jumped too high, too far. In fact, she was still in the air, hovering by the entrance of the office.

"Supergirl," Cat croaked, understanding filling her eyes finally—understanding and betrayal.

"I'm sorry," Kara rasped, feeling miserable and helpless.

Cat was never going to forgive her.

The headache was blinding. She couldn't think, she couldn't move; she could only hang in the air like a puppet, her strings being pulled without her say.

She could hear fast footsteps approaching; Alex was coming in, with at least 3 other agents. She just needed to hold on for another few seconds and Alex would be there.

"Kara!"

She screamed as her super hearing activated on its own, Alex's voice echoing in her head, literally making her teeth shake from the pain. She recoiled from the sound, crashing against the windows. Cat's screams overwhelmed her as the entirety of the glass wall shattered around Kara.

She tried to stop it, covering her ears with all her strength, but it was too loud. She tried flying out, but outside was even louder! Every bit of noise was jabbing her ears like a blade. She withdrew back into the office.

"Too loud, too loud," she was crying, as though just by calling out, she could silence the noises.

Every breath, every footstep, every heartbeat in the room was still too loud. She felt wild and out of control, simultaneously both in excruciating pain and outside of herself at the same time, watching herself going through the motions of a disastrous dance.

Alex was shouting commands at the other agents; Kara couldn't make out anything anymore. Still, she called out for help, "Alex!"

And then suddenly, like a vacuum sucking out the air from her ears, there was silence in the room.

She hovered, disoriented, too shocked by the quiet. Afraid it was the calm before the storm.

"Kara, can you hear me?" Alex was looking up at her, hands held up high like she was trying to calm a wild animal. Agents behind her were all pointing their guns at her.

She nodded, exhausted. "Help me."

"I will. I will, sweetheart. Why don't you just come down here?"

That made sense, Kara thought. She should stop flying around. Only she couldn't remember how to do it. Why was she here anyway? Where was she?

"Cat!" she shouted, suddenly remembering. "Cat was here, Alex." She wasn't safe to be around. "You need to get her out of here."

"I will—she's fine. Just come down, Kara."

"Alex," she begged, panting. "My powers…"

"She can't control them." It was Cat, cowering behind the couch.

Kara's eyes locked onto Cat's.

"Stay back, Ms. Grant," Alex warned, but all Kara could see was Cat.

"Come down, Supergirl," Cat said, raising herself up, brave till the end, "I know you can do it."

Kara shook her head, tears running down her face. She couldn't.

"I'm sorry." She mouthed, barely hanging on to her sanity, even as she felt her muscles starting to convulse. As though an electrical wire was set loose on her body, the seizure took hold of her, swinging her back and forth through the air. She felt like her head was splitting open as her heat vision finally forced itself out of her.

Wherever her head turned, her heat vision brought destruction, cutting across the furniture in the room with the force of a volcano. The screens on the wall exploded into pieces, crashing onto the floor one by one, sparks flying everywhere, the ceiling falling in large chunks all over. She was devastating everything around her.

There was no stopping this. It would run its course, destroy CatCo and the people inside it unless—

"Alex!" she screamed with the last of her strength, "shoot me!"

Alex was hesitating.

"Please, Alex!" she cried, "It's the only way."

"Damn it—"

A piercing pain in her thigh shook her to her core, but it wasn't enough. Her heat vision was still going strong.

"Again!" she ordered.

"Kara, no."

"You know I'm right. Just do it!"

Another one caught her in the arm, slowing her down. The fire in her eyes was weakening, but still burning across the room, even as her skin turned into fire ants, eating at her.

"Again, Alex!"

"I can't—"

"You have to stop it! Please!" She hovered helplessly, begging. "Please!"

Two hit her at the same time—one in her shoulder, the other in her chest—and she dropped like a stone.

"Hold your fire!" Alex shouted, "Hold your fire!"

She felt her head bounce off the floor with a crack. Right before her eyes rolled back into her head, she was able to make out a blurry Cat pinned under a piece of furniture, clutching her bloody arm amidst the debris, looking absolutely petrified.

She had the stray thought, "I've failed."

Finally mercy came in darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Come Undone 2/2**

Weeks had passed since that awful night.

Cat took a sip of her whiskey, looking out into the city at the end of another long workday. She leaned against the balcony railing, losing herself to thoughts of Kara, as was becoming a habit.

Kara was Supergirl. She still couldn't believe her own naivety. _Of course she was_. Cat had thought so all along, but then she'd seen Kara and Supergirl in the same room. They had literally been in front of her. So she'd chosen to go with her head, instead of her gut. She'd been an idiot.

Kara had almost died. Something about a Kryptonian virus that had lodged itself into Kara's brain after an attack by some creature, making her lose control of her powers. That part Cat knew first hand. The whole experience was right up there with the scariest nights of her life, after all.

Cat took a deep breath.

After Kara had been taken down, and choppered out of the building, she herself had been taken to the DEO headquarters to get treated. She'd been lucky—just a few scratches and a broken arm. Kara hadn't been as lucky. She'd been put into a coma to allow the swelling in her brain to go down, after they'd removed the kryptonite bullets from her body that is—a quantity of bullets that could have killed her, apparently. But Kara was strong—"Strong will to live," the doctor had said, taking pity on her after she'd refused to budge from outside the operating room for several hours. What a cliché, she'd thought, even as she'd held on to his every word.

Everything else was classified, top secret. Need to know basis only, and according to the idiots in the DEO, she needed to know absolutely nothing. She'd been politely escorted out of the facility after being forced to sign an NDA. On her way out she'd passed by Superman, who was being rushed into the lab. She overheard someone mention a blood transfusion, but that was all she was able to find out. She was clueless, exhausted, and in pain by the time she was dropped off at her home well into mid-day the next day.

The one saving grace was that Carter had been spending the night at his father's the night before, so he wasn't there to miss her in the morning. Martha the cleaner, on the other hand, had shrieked when she saw Cat limping into the house dressed in ripped clothing and looking like a disaster victim.

"I'm okay," she'd said, squeezing the woman's arm in reassurance. "Just another night in National City."

The following week had been frustrating. It was a miracle that no one had camera footage of the whole thing. Or that if they did, it never saw the light of day. That was the good thing about the DEO agents, Cat discovered—they knew how to cover things up. By the time the CatCo employees came to work the next morning, half the floor had been draped off and work had already begun on the re-building process. Or rather, _renovating_ , as her employees had been told—another one of Cat Grant's extravagant whims.

For someone who found solace in her office as much as Cat did, the total destruction of the space had certainly been a loss. But there were worse things in life, things like not knowing whether someone she cared about was going to make it through the night.

And although Alex had responded to Cat's update requests with her very informative texts—"She's stable"—"No change"—"Still stable"—Cat was driving herself mad with worry. When was she expected to wake up from her coma? Would there be permanent damage? But no, her simple questions went unanswered. Had it been anyone other than Kara's sister she was talking with—a sister who was probably worried about Kara just as much as Cat was—Cat would have brought down some destruction of her own in the face of such unresponsiveness. Cat could certainly become a monster when she wanted to, but she wasn't _that_ much of a monster. Still, she found Kara occupying most of her thoughts, on and on. So much so that getting on with her days was proving to be a challenge.

She knew she was bordering on ridiculousness when she found herself wandering the halls, sneaking glimpses at Kara's computer friend _Wayne_. Surely he would be exhibiting signs of upset if there were bad news.

After the third time she'd done it, the boy had had the gall to call her out on it. "Is there anything I can do for you, Ms. Grant?"

"Did I say there was?" she'd snapped, never one to enjoy being questioned.

"Sorry," he'd said, turning quickly back to his computer.

She'd stormed off, feeling silly. Why was she trying to maintain Kara's cover anyway? It was obvious that the boy already knew Kara's real identity. They were best friends, after all. But then again, what if he didn't? She'd been working with Kara for almost 3 years, and she'd had no idea.

On the tenth day after the incident, she asked James to stay behind after the morning meeting.

"Ms. Grant?" he'd asked after the moment of silence lasted too long.

She hadn't known quite how to broach the subject yet.

"James, your friend in blue, does he happen to have any news on Supergirl?"

James seemed surprised by her question. He glanced around, making sure they were out of earshot. "She's fine, Ms. Grant. Back home resting. I thought you knew."

"No," she said, clearing her throat, trying to keep her composure, "No, I wasn't aware."

"She's okay."

He was confident, his voice calm and reassuring. Cat wanted to punch him.

"You've spoken to her?"

"Yes. Kara is, well, you know…"

Her eyes snapped up. So he knew that she knew.

"How long?"

"What?" James looked confused.

Patience thinning, she removed her glasses and punctuated each word as though talking to a child, "How long has she been out of the coma, James?"

"Two days."

"Very well." She waved her hand in dismissal, reaching for her papers. For something to do other than look into James Olsen's pitying eyes, because obviously she was an open book now.

"I'm sure she'll get in touch with you when she's ready, Ms. Grant."

"That'll be all, Mr. Olsen."

That had been three days ago, and still there was no Kara. Maddeningly, she had been forwarded an email from the HR department—an email not even addressed to her!—letting her know that Kara would not be coming in for the rest of the week. Cat knew for a fact that the girl had enough time banked to take the whole month off if she wished to.

She couldn't help but take Kara's absence personally, especially since Supergirl had been all over the news the last couple of days, back in action stopping robberies and putting out fires as per her usual. By all accounts, she looked like nothing had happened. Just one time Cat had seen her falter on screen.

She was lifting an empty school bus that had plunged down a hill on the side of a road. Thankfully, the kids had all been out of the bus when it happened and were now watching her, most filming her on their phones, giddy about being so close to their hero. Supergirl had tried to lift the bus, hovered a few feet off the ground, and set it back down. She'd laughed it off, saying, "That's what happens when you skip breakfast. Anyone got a doughnut?"

All the onlookers had laughed along with her. One of the kids had offered her half of her sandwich, which Supergirl ate happily, making for great television. On her second try, she'd easily lifted the bus up so high that all the kids had clapped in excitement. To anyone watching, it looked like Supergirl had done the whole double-take on purpose to teach kids about the importance of a healthy breakfast. Cat knew better. And though it made her skin crawl to think of Supergirl at anything less than 100%, Cat also knew that she looked much better than the last time she'd seen her.

It was none of her business anyway. Well, other than her actual business, that is. With each passing day without a word from Kara, Cat felt more and more like a fool. Why was she wasting her energy worrying about Supergirl when Supergirl obviously didn't even care enough to let her know that she was doing all right?

Cat had obviously overestimated the importance of their relationship. Even as she thought it, she couldn't help but feel the stab of regret in her stomach. If only she hadn't pushed Kara into Adam's arms. If only she'd been a little nicer to Kara, a little more forgiving and a little less _professional_.

She sighed, feeling heavy with shame.

Maybe the girl would have trusted her enough to tell her she was Supergirl. Maybe Kara would have come to her from the moment she'd started feeling unwell and Cat could have convinced her to see a doctor. She was certain that she could have made a difference because Kara listened to her—even as Supergirl she had listened to her. Cat was used to people doing what she ordered, but unlike others, Kara didn't do it out of fear, but out of a deep sense of belief in Cat. Kara trusted Cat. And at the first sign of trouble Cat had broken that trust—shut her out like she was an unwanted guest in her house. No wonder the girl was staying away. If only Cat had been a better person, a softer person perhaps, they might have avoided this whole mess and Kara could have been there right now, at her desk.

Every morning she could be the one greeting Cat with her bright smile, making sure everything ran smoothly in the office, anticipating her every need before Cat herself realized that she needed anything. Instead, Cat was stuck with Siobhan—Siobhan with her perfect outfits and boring obedience—Siobhan who had turned out to be less than impressive without Kara there to make up for her shortcomings.

But then again, ifs and maybes never helped anybody. Cat Grant hadn't risen to be the Queen of All Media—God, she hated Johnson for coining the term—by doubting herself.

No, she was Cat Grant, the most powerful woman in National City, the woman who had _named_ Supergirl for crying out loud, who would have done pretty much anything to help Kara if only she had asked her. And if Kara couldn't see that,

if Kara didn't even trust her enough to tell her the truth about who she really was, to at least pick up the phone and let her know that she was fine after almost scaring her to death—if Kara didn't care enough—if Kara didn't care…

She took another sip of her drink, exhausted. She wasn't used to feeling so unsettled.

It was getting chilly—she should really go back inside, she thought, and give up on this waiting. Because though she'd never admit it out loud, a part of her knew that she was waiting—hoping Supergirl would show up on her balcony, like she used to before all this happened.

It was ironic, really, that just as soon as she thought of Kara showing up, she had that familiar feeling of being watched.

She took a calming breath, put her glass down, and turned around. "Kiera."

Kara had been flying over CatCo for about 20 minutes, trying to find the courage to land. This wasn't the first night she'd done this, but this was the night she was going to actually go through with it. Yes, it was.

Cat was on her balcony again. She looked like herself—hair made up to perfection, pantsuit fitted just right, make-up natural and sophisticated. She also looked tired, Kara noted. There were bags under her eyes that hadn't been there before. Kara wondered if she was sleeping at night or if she, too, was staying awake trying desperately to turn off her mind.

It didn't take long for Cat to sense Kara's presence once she touched down.

"Kiera," she acknowledged, her voice cool and closed off. Kara winced. So they were back to that again.

Cat crossed her arms in front of herself, despite the cast that must have made it difficult.

"Ms. Grant," Kara said, feeling defeated already.

"I see you're feeling better."

"Yes, I…yes."

She was feeling better physically, getting better every day, but emotionally she hadn't felt this out of place since she'd landed on earth.

"I wanted to apologize to you for what happened," Kara said. "I never meant for you to get hurt. It was the last thing I ever wanted."

Cat looked at her blankly, making Kara fidget under her gaze.

"How is your arm?" Kara asked, her stomach twisting with nerves. "Is it very painful?"

"It's fine."

"Good, good, that's good..." Kara said, absentmindedly twisting her cape between her fingers. "And your office, I see the new decorations are looking real pretty."

The DEO had paid for it—something about superhero insurance. Too bad it didn't cover re-building relationships.

Cat raised a single eyebrow.

"Not that it wasn't pretty before," Kara said, tripping on her words in her haste not to be misunderstood. "It was beautiful, and I know that it was really important to you and I'm really sorry I ruined it."

She felt like she was teetering on the edge of a cliff—like any wrong move could provoke Cat to push her right off. Kara would have preferred Cat to get upset with her, shout at her maybe. But this Cat in front of her was the one that scared her the most—the unreadable one.

"I'm also very sorry about lying to you," she said after a moment.

Cat took a sip of her drink, playing with her glass, making the ice swirl in it. She didn't look up when she said, "Were you ever going to tell me who you were?"

Kara ducked her head in shame. She wanted to think that she would have. Maybe one day, but she couldn't be sure.

Her hesitation was enough of an answer for Cat. "I don't know how you pulled off the double act. I suppose it doesn't matter now," she said, disappointment dripping from every word.

"You don't understand—the people who know who I am end up becoming targets. I'm not going to lose any one else I care about if I can help it!" She hadn't meant to sound quite so frustrated. She sighed, reminding herself that this wasn't about her. Cat deserved an apology.

"Even if that means lying to them?"

"Yes, of course," Kara said. "Your safety is more important to me."

"I still don't appreciate being lied to, Kiera."

"I know that, and I'm sorry for lying, but I'm not sorry for trying to protect you. Don't you think I wanted to tell you? Every day I'd come so close to just blurting it out, but I couldn't. Not when I knew the danger it would mean for you, for Carter…"

Cat looked up at the mention of her son, her features softening slightly.

"Not that I was able to protect you, in the end," Kara admitted, feeling herself deflate.

Cat looked like she wanted to say something, but Kara didn't really want to listen to all the ways in which she'd failed her. She was deeply aware and ashamed already, and in all honesty she didn't think she could handle it just yet. So, she carried on speaking; she was there for a reason, after all.

"Anyway" —she forced a smile— "I just wanted to come down and give you this."

Cat's eyes locked onto the envelope Kara was holding up. She made no move to take it.

"It's my resignation letter," Kara explained.

"I see," Cat said, sounding colder than the north wind.

Kara waited for her to say something more, but all Cat did was look away. So this was really it then. Cat wasn't even going to put up a fight. Not that Kara had expected her to.

She turned towards the city, looking at all the lights, the people. This balcony had been a safe haven for her, and it was obvious that she was no longer going to be welcome there.

Kara didn't want to leave like this. "I was supposed to take care of my baby cousin. That was the mission my parents gave me, when they sent me to earth." She remembered her mother's last words as clearly as if she'd heard them the day before. She could feel Cat turn to her, her curiosity getting the better of her, despite whatever else she might have been feeling. "But then my pod got knocked off course, and by the time I landed here, he was a grown man—Superman. He didn't need me." Kara smiled sadly.

She took a moment, fighting her instinct to hide. She wanted to leave Cat with something real. She owed her that much.

"He placed me with a family—a great one. Things could have been worse, really. I could have died with my parents, with my planet, or just stayed in the phantom zone forever. Instead I was alive, and healthy. I had a sister who was my best friend and foster parents who loved me. They treated me like one of them—like I belonged. In time, I think I started believing that. And I grew up thinking that maybe, just maybe, I could have a normal life. Naïve, right? A job, friends, maybe even a relationship with someone I cared about some day. I know better now," she said, trying not to sound bitter.

She dared glance at Cat, who was watching her so intensely that Kara had to take a moment to breathe before carrying on. It felt like Cat was trying to see right through her.

"I want you to know that I always felt the calling to help people, that was always there beneath the surface…I guess I was just afraid." She swallowed, her lips dry. "When I came here and started working for you, for the first time in my life I felt like I was making a difference. You were mean, and bossy, but you were also incredible—strong and fair and brilliant."

Kara smiled, thinking of the first time she'd seen Cat on her game. It was a regular stand-up meeting, and Cat had been so sharp, her aim so perfect, that Kara's heart had sped up just watching her work. Everything about her had said that she'd built this empire from nothing and she was going to protect every inch with everything she had.

"You were changing the world. And if I could make your life just a little bit easier, even if it was just by getting you an extra hot cup of coffee in the mornings, than I was helping you do that. You taught me so much in my time with you, not just about work but about life as well. I want to thank you for that, Cat. You were my hero long before you taught me how to be one."

"Kara—" Cat said, her voice breaking with an emotion Kara couldn't name.

"I understand if you never want to see me again. And I wouldn't blame you if you were afraid of me, but maybe, a while from now, I could drop in to see you from time to time," Kara said, daring to hope, despite telling herself over and over that she wasn't going to do this. "It doesn't have to be often, just every now and then, maybe?"

Cat sighed, wiping her cheek with a single finger.

"I thought this job was important to you," she said, suddenly challenging.

"It is. You know it is. This place" Kara whispered, meaning _you, and my friends_ , "makes me feel human."

"Then why are you leaving?"

"You said it yourself, every minute that I'm here playing assistant, someone out there could be saved."

Cat took a step closer. "That's not why."

"The DEO needs me, I can be useful there." Kara said, feeling like she was walking on quicksand.

"Kara," Cat said, her tone chastising.

"It's what I want."

"No, it isn't."

"It is," Kara insisted, "it'll be better for everyone."

"Then why are you crying?"

She looked up in surprise. "I'm not," she said, bringing her fingers to her face—but they came away wet.

"Kara." It was the gentle way Cat said her name—the warmth, the caring in her voice—that finally broke her. She could feel her lips trembling as a fresh flood of tears rushed down her cheeks.

"I can't," she gulped, choking on her words, "I can't…"

"Can't what?"

"Hurt you again."

"Oh, Kara." Cat's hand lifted. She came over slowly, trying not to spook her, giving her enough time to pull back, to run away if she wanted to. But Kara didn't want to run anymore.

Cat cupped her face and sighed, wiping off her tears just as she'd done that horrible night.

Kara clutched Cat's fingers, holding them against her face desperately—she could smell Cat's perfume on her wrist, feel the softness of her skin. She closed her eyes, getting lost in her touch. She could hear the rapid thump of Cat's heartbeat. In the end, she couldn't help herself and turned into it, trembling like a leaf as she kissed the inside of Cat's palm—knowing that she was crossing a line.

Cat gasped at the contact. Kara found herself moving into Cat's embrace, desperate to be closer.

"Kara," Cat rasped, putting her hands up as though suddenly afraid of touching Kara, "what are you doing?" Her voice was hoarse. If Kara didn't know any better she might have said that she sounded afraid.

Kara held very still, not wanting to scare Cat away. Instead of replying with words, she slowly very slowly lowered her head in submission, dropping her forehead to rest on Cat's shoulder. She wasn't going to do anything that Cat didn't want, but if this was going to be the last time she saw Cat, then she was going to at least show Cat what she meant to her.

Kara breathed her in, not moving an inch, getting lost in her scent. She felt like she could live here—in this spot where Cat's shoulder met her neck—forever.

Finally, finally, Cat's arms came up to rest around Kara's shoulders. It was all the encouragement Kara needed. Her nose grazed the side of Cat's neck as she gently, very gently, lowered her lips to Cat's skin. Kara could feel Cat's fingers digging in as her hold tightened on Kara's back. Kara made her way higher, nuzzling all along Cat's neck. Cat's breathing was getting heavier with each passing moment, her pulse running wild under Kara's lips. Kara felt weak at the knees.

When Kara lingered too long on a particularly sensitive spot right below her ear, Cat made a noise that went straight between Kara's legs. Cat's hand tangled in her hair, pulling her back just enough to look into her eyes. She held her still, just a few inches from her mouth. Kara felt dizzy with want. Cat's eyes were lidded, holding a dare more than a question.

Whatever it was she wanted from Kara, the answer was always going to be _yes_.

Maybe it was the hitch in her breath that communicated that fact because in the next instant Cat's eyes were darkening with intent. Her lips parted, drawing near. All Kara could see were those lips as she herself leaned in, more than willing to meet Cat half way. They moved closer and closer until finally they were breathing the same air. Kara's heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest as she tilted her head. Her eyes closed on their own accord, the last inch between them disappearing until—

The balcony door opened. They sprang apart so fast that Kara almost fell off the balcony with her speed.

James stood with a hand on the door, frozen in shock.

"Sorry," he said, "I can come back later."

Cat cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure. "What do you need?" she said tightly, her hands adjusting her clothes.

James kept his eyes on the floor as he answered, "I have the latest layout."

"Right. I'll meet you in your office in 5."

James looked up in surprise, as did Kara. Cat didn't go to other people's offices, they came to her.

"Sure," he said, giving Kara a parting glance. "Supergirl," he acknowledged, walking back inside. He sounded jealous.

"James." Kara sighed, looking sheepishly at Cat.

There was nothing between Kara and James any more. All they'd ever had was potential. Potential to be something more, but they'd been too slow and then while Kara wasn't even looking, Cat had happened. And now Kara couldn't even feel bad about hurting James.

Cat slumped down onto the arm of the couch, watching Kara carefully. She sounded quiet when she said "Why didn't you call to let me know you were okay?"

Kara tilted her head, confused. "I thought you knew. Alex said that you'd been in touch."

"Barely."

"I didn't call anyone, Cat. I wasn't myself, I needed time to—I needed time," Kara said, thinking about the days after her coma. She'd been so weak, in every sense of the word. For a while there, even the simple act of sitting up had been a challenge. It'd taken days for her powers to kick back in and even then she'd barely been able to look at herself in the mirror. Going over and over what had happened in Cat's office. How she'd lost control and become the worst kind of threat. Her powers in the wrong hands were worse than dangerous. And they had been in the wrong hands—hands that couldn't control a thing.

The worst part was that it could have been avoided. If only she'd made the right decision instead of the wrong one. If only she'd been to the DEO to get checked out like Winn had insisted. She'd acted like an immature child. Maybe she didn't deserve the powers bestowed upon her, maybe she wasn't worthy. It had seemed like she wouldn't be able to get out of bed for weeks, tormented by self-doubt, and she might not have if it hadn't been for Alex. Alex who'd broken down and tried to take on the responsibility of Kara's actions. Because it was her fault Kara hadn't been to the DEO, she'd said—her fault because it was Alex who'd killed Astra and let Kara think J'onn had done it.

Kara looked up, pulling herself back into the present. Cat was watching her silently.

"I didn't even know you wanted me to. I thought you hated me," Kara said quietly.

"You called James."

Kara's eyebrows lifted in surprise. Cat was upset that she hadn't called her. She almost sounded jealous.

"No, I didn't," Kara said, a smile blossoming on her face. Before Cat could get annoyed she sat next to her on the couch. "He called me," she shrugged. "After about the 5th missed call, I figured I should answer it."

Cat gave her a side-look, pursing her lips haughtily, but Kara could see that she was satisfied with the answer.

They sat in silence for a long moment and then Cat stood up, motioning towards the office. "I should get back."

"Sure," Kara said, feeling her stomach drop.

"Deadline."

"Right."

Kara got up as well, watching Cat walk away.

"Cat," she said before she could stop herself, reeling with a million questions.

Cat looked back, sighed into the stretching silence. After a moment, she bent down to pick up the envelope Kara hadn't even realized she'd dropped. She looked up at Kara and very purposefully ripped the letter in half.

"But you said—" _you'd fire me_ , Kara remembered.

Cat waved a hand in dismissal, cutting Kara off as though she could hear what Kara was thinking and had decided that it wasn't relevant anymore. "I expect to see you at your desk bright and early tomorrow, Kiera. I think you've taken enough time off work, don't you?"

Cat's words were commanding, and yet Kara could still hear the uncertainty in them, the question.

Kara felt her chest expanding—breaths coming in easier suddenly. Cat wasn't accepting her resignation. More importantly, they'd almost kissed and she wasn't sending Kara away. Kara was sure the time for talking would come, but for now, she had the answer she needed: Cat still wanted her around.

"Of course, Ms. Grant," she said brightly, her feet lifting off the floor and her cape whipping in the wind behind her.

Cat's lips twitched into the smallest of grins. The glint in her eyes as she watched Kara fly away was enough to get Kara's blood rushing to her cheeks. It was almost midnight, but Kara felt as warm as if the morning sun was shining on her face.

She soared through the sky, feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time. The future was full of possibilities.


End file.
